Unknown depression

I don't know what is wrong with me,
and yet something definitely is.
I can't tell or point at the source,
I can't face or digest the consequence.

I can't understand the weight at my feet,
or the pain behind my smile.
I know not where the bursting originates,
or the angst and constant build up.

I know I would be crazy without you,
I know I would be nothing without him,
I know I am lost within us.

I fear the passage of time
and the continuity of it all.
I fear fear caused in his tiny eyes.