Raw

My skin has been grinded out
scraped leaving my nerves exposed.
Instinct, I recoil from touch
and shy from the light and sound.

My head is heavy,
as neurons drown in a dark poll;
And my neck struggles,
to keep my head over water;
As my shoulders hunch,
with unremovable burden;
Along my pale face,
two training weights drag at my cheeks;
Low lids dig my eyes,
within the shade of dark circles.

You ask me if I am ok?
I am fine thank you.

I just wish I wouldn't, 

burst at every setback,

acid lava within shouts.

I just hate who I've become,
I look worst than my grandmother
behave worst than my mother. 

I just wish there was more to me
than the feeder, cleaner, enforcer
the silent listener, lover.

I just hate the world,
not you, not them,
just me in it and thereof.

Mommy will be right back

Her hand grasped firmly the wobbling handrail,
a step further, another crack of wood.

The candle she held but contoured her face,
as she moved the shadows danced ever still.

A light burst through the basement's entrails
drawing a table with perturbing tools,
broken chairs and gimmicks conquered by webs,
only to drawn back to the depths of black.

Followed the rattling of the enraged skies,
heavy bodies of water crash in fight,
shaking her spine the way down to her thighs,
the candle nearly dropped to start a fire.

A foot forward, her free hand ahead
to slowly test for free space between shades.
Her pinky smashes a hefty card box
and the drunken candle vomits hot wax

Then sharp profanity words are exhaled
and she resumes her stroll through the dark woods
shades delineate in her somber mind
while screams of frightened kids reach from above.

Her fingers touch the smooth plate of plastic,
open carefully (it's a brittle lid)
to find a switch in a bow position.
''Found it!'' - She shouts as she pulls it upwards.

Buzzing lights eat the forest from the mess
and chants of joy waterfall down the walls.
She blew out the candle, ran up the stairs
to her spot amid the couch and a blanket.

"Let's watch something filled with suspense! Popcorn?"
Cheers in uproar greeted her short comment.

the moon shines for the sea and we bathe in them

As steam blurs the bright twilight colors
The moon grabs a cloud to wrap around
checks its reflection biting her lip
The sea frames her light transcending it.

Twinkles her eye and smiles clarity
He whispers back: "You are beautiful"
She blushes, she trusts he believes so
So she ascends to the stary stage.

She will not have the need to outshine,
Nor to hide the craters in her face
To illuminate him profoundly.

It's not that she devotes her life to him
But his overflowing heat burns her
Thus covered to expose herself as art.

Paulo my love

Push me up, down and out
At the brink of a shout
Uncertain but for doubts
Longing to chose the best
Overthinking all but us.

My root and challange
You are to life my bridge.

Lust can extinguish never
Our deep hunger for merger
Voiced in the choices made
Ever flowering our bed.

cruel joke

Hide your drown eyes,
Shelted by the shade on your cap
Hide your drown eyes
When his sulen words sting as bees
Your breast twists tight as an old mop
Trying to strangle out dirt drop
Hide your drown eyes.

His lips turned up

With mischieve in their straight line

His lips turned up

As if his fiery words wouldn't cut

iron burning my intraile

With his frivolous studying gaze

His lips turned up

"It was a joke!" 

"What do you mean you cold rough turd?" 

"It was a joke!

Just to shake your green leafs and poke

Not meant to actually hurt

But to see how your frail voice chocked.

It was a joke!" 

Cool air returned... 

Through my nose down the pipe and chest

Cool air returned... 

should shove my knuckles up your face

deceiving betrail of your test,

But he's been true, it was a jest

Cool air returned... 

drumming alive under my breasts

Only the good die young

Life flies by you swirling your skirt,

You can plant your feet in the sure dirt,

Or dance to the gay sounds it brought,

But you will be left counting turns.

If you focus on its colors,

Your eyes will water and hurt,

While you'll lose its fresh bun sent,

Its butterfly wings flutters.

You can chose wisely

But it won't wait frozen,

Sooner hurricane your plans

Across deserts and oceans.

It will pluck your feathers

If spread to its caress

Like a wolf would a hut

Shielding its fat meal.

By the time you grow,

Your thirst for flight

Is dragged by an inner voice

And you are unable to move.

The oldest of trees rather

sway to the gushing wind

than attempt thick and haughty

to halt its turbulent current.

Alas, it catches up

Leaving you counting turns

And the Polaroids you took

Along the unexpected way.

Twinkle twinkle balls of fire

Twinkle twinkle

Balls of unfathomable fire

In relentless ire

Mighty gods of life.

Twinkle twinkle

Exotic fusion cooks

Recipes to feed the universe

Of fleeting ingredients. 

So, twinkle twinkle

Balls of untamable pyro

Blazing news to years farther.

More, twinkle twinkle

Through this empty space 

Over this flaming kiss. 

Sending little him to school

His shoulders hang low by the weight on the bag,

His footsteps echoed loudly in sore resignation.

His eyes are deserted by the understanding

of no reasonable explanation but "must be".

He knows I must go, I must leave, I must work.

Doesn't get to wonder “why”, “what for” or "if" it is so.

Doesn't get to choose his path, his time or his crowd.

Doesn't get to complain, not anymore, he has grown.

How can I tell him to defy what lies ahead,

if I cannot defend my place in his early life?

Am I teaching to be strong or forcing to conform?

It is not money we require, we are fortunate there.

It is not a habit of ages, my grandmother wouldn't.

It just hurts every day to watch him strode this way.

Tonight We dance

She raised her glass
to a space of fragrance
gifts of perfumers and chefs
bees for our banquet.

"Tonight we dance." 

Her glass rose
and so did theirs.

"Outside this stained window
lose specs forced to shake
water flushed from the sky
as if migration made it light.

Zeus and Thor collude
against our dinner feast
abhorred by its stature
green isn't color that fits.

Nevertheless,
tonight we dance."

And her glass rose again
with them cheering it.

"Youth flee their lessons
burdened with pesky
and serious concerns
long past their tender.

For what of their guardian,
exhausted will she manage?
the pilling of warnings?
of crossroad endings?

Regardless,
tonight We dance."

And her glass rose again,
they're lost at her turn.

"Broken close their eyes
to their fate and its price
they planned for luck solely
but got struck instead.

Their doctors prescribed
but held was their fund
for useless is the mallet
to the insurance wallet.

Anyway,
tonight WE dance." 

And her glass rose again
but gone was their wit.

"Looking-in hands implore,
forsaken howl at our spoils
like wolfs without a den
or a pack to take them in.

They'll surrender to the rain
and recoil to any found dent
of this majestic construction
to remind'em where they stand.

All the more reason,
TONIGHT WE DANCE!
Because we can!"
And she gulps the wine.

Slowly the stunned room,
in its palpable gloom,
was silently emptied.
The extravagants gone.

"Good, only I remain,
let it linger just the same
in their spoiled brains.
For we alone hold the chains."

Night

 I hold you while you gulf

that huge bottle of milk.

Straighten you up to burp

and sing to you quietly.

Drowsy eyes, full belly

soft pjs, clean diaper,

you are rocked slowly

to the land of wonder.

In my arms you will find

the comfort you need might

that is all that I aspire.

Hope in the morning to hear,

that graceful inviting smile

to that I sleep, nighty night.

The strangest rebirth

I was invited once,

To the strangest event. 

On the last day of the year,

One with a long painful end.

A long time friend,

Told me of his gathering, 

With more high school mates. 

I can join them, he said.

We made mayonnaise 

And canapés 

In small hand-crafted plates. 

All four happy to be single, 

As I was once again, 

With gellow shots and music

In a small appartement.

We had all we needed

To burn the past away. 

Writen on small

pieces of parchment

Collected on a metal bucket

Light up with a wooden match

And ashed slow under our watch. 

It was weird. 

It was healing. 

As a Fenix brought within

A room of nurturing,

Absolutely bewitching. 

I haven't had the chance, 

To see them together since. 

Thank you David. 

By lending me your friends, 

You have made more for me

Than all of mine tried.