-You know what hurts the most?
It's not the undignified resolution, or the blame, or even the felling I am not worth a second chance.
The hardest part is that I won a prize, just before I found out... And when people pass and congratulate me now I instinctively shudder revisiting the awful truth only a few have to live through.
Then I remember, they couldn't know, back as I am forcing myself to be.
I didn't tell anyone. I had no time, before the news were no longer good.
As I figure the meaning of their acknowledgement, only endless seconds past I sank in opaque pain again. I had almost forgotten, and shall again, smiling my way back to life. The world didn't collapse, it should have. It should be harder on your body and scar you for life to do such a decision. It should unable your lips to ever fold into a smile.
At least no one knows, and no one will ask.
I wonder, though, how they could have missed the bright twinkle in my eyes just three weeks ago, when life was brilliant and promising and I was... so much more.
It's not the undignified resolution, or the blame, or even the felling I am not worth a second chance.
The hardest part is that I won a prize, just before I found out... And when people pass and congratulate me now I instinctively shudder revisiting the awful truth only a few have to live through.
Then I remember, they couldn't know, back as I am forcing myself to be.
I didn't tell anyone. I had no time, before the news were no longer good.
As I figure the meaning of their acknowledgement, only endless seconds past I sank in opaque pain again. I had almost forgotten, and shall again, smiling my way back to life. The world didn't collapse, it should have. It should be harder on your body and scar you for life to do such a decision. It should unable your lips to ever fold into a smile.
At least no one knows, and no one will ask.
I wonder, though, how they could have missed the bright twinkle in my eyes just three weeks ago, when life was brilliant and promising and I was... so much more.
No comments:
Post a Comment